


i'll burn it down (and build it up better)

by ophvelias



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
Genre: Ambiguous/Open Ending, Angst, Complicated Relationships, F/M, Ficlet, Post-Framework Universe (Marvel)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-06
Updated: 2017-10-06
Packaged: 2019-01-09 22:45:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 605
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12285828
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ophvelias/pseuds/ophvelias
Summary: She’d nodded. Agreed. Rested a hand over the curve of his shoulder and squeezed, briefly, ignoring the sharp stab of pain between her ribs. That was days ago.





	i'll burn it down (and build it up better)

**Author's Note:**

> Title from 'Burn It Down' by Billy Lockett

Jemma watches Fitz as he moves towards the hangar door. Pauses, half-turning in her direction.

The others are gathered somewhere behind her, far enough to allow them some privacy, but close enough for it to be uncomfortable all the same. They’ve already said their goodbyes and wished him good luck, she knows. And now they’re waiting on her.

The thing is: Jemma has been saying goodbye to Fitz for a long time.

There was the touch of a hand before South Ossetia; a brief look shared before he left with the Toolbox. There was even Maveth, a silent one-sided kind of goodbye when she’d accepted the possibility that she might never see him again.

But this —

It’s different.

Fitz doesn’t meet her eyes, mouth tight at the corners, an apology in the set of his hands. She lingers, neither here nor there, chest heavy with the way she _longs_ , fingers aching to reach for him.

She doesn’t.

There’s this look on his face, one Jemma doesn’t even know how to read, just knows that it’s there and something inside of her feels like she can’t breathe.

“I don’t think I can do this anymore.” He’d said, voice quivering, and she’d nodded, because what else was there to do?

“Okay.” She’d said, even though she didn’t mean it. Even though _no, no, no_ slid across her tongue, ears ringing with the sound of her heart breaking in two.

And she’d considered talking him out of it. Begging, if she had to, just because having him around, even if things aren’t like they were before, is better than not having him around at all.

But she didn’t. Couldn’t. Not when he needed this. 

“Where will you go?” She’d asked, and he’d shrugged. Swiped a knuckle across his lips.

“Home, I think.” He’d said. “Scotland, I mean. It’s been too long.”

She’d nodded. Agreed. Rested a hand over the curve of his shoulder and squeezed, briefly, ignoring the sharp stab of pain between her ribs.

That was days ago.

This is now:

There’s too many feelings, none of them said out loud, and it’s all too much and not enough and Jemma’s too scared to change things between them and too afraid to let them stay the same. And it’s funny, she thinks. The way they’ve been inseparable for years, and now they’re not quite sure how to be around each other anymore. There’s a space between them, and neither one of them moves to fill it because they don’t know _how._

“You’ll come back?” Jemma asks, quiet.

She watches as Fitz shifts his weight from one leg to the other, fingers tightening around the strap of his backpack. Lifts his eyes and meets her gaze, swallowing.

And he doesn’t nod but he doesn’t shake his head either and that’s good enough. He holds her gaze for a moment longer, a small smile tugging at the corners of his mouth, and something like warmth slides over her skin. The tightness in her chest dissipates, and for the first time in a long time, she lets herself be hopeful. 

It’s not what it used to be, but it’s —

It’s better.

Jemma nods. That’s okay, she thinks. She’ll wait.

She doesn’t pause to tell him how much she’ll miss him. How she’ll carry the ache of his absence in the cavity of her chest, how missing him feels like the burn of a phantom limb. Thinks he already knows.

Instead she smiles and it’s soft, and there’s no hurt in his eyes as he turns and leaves and boards a plane to Glasgow.

This is how Jemma really says goodbye.


End file.
